My dreams keep me up at night... not images I see in my head while I sleep, but the things I hope to accomplish...the person I hope to become...the things I wish to see and do and now I wonder if I'm simply living in my head rather than in the world...
Life: a storm of thoughts of the past and future and a struggle to live in the moment
TO LIVE IS TO BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT!!!
"Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived." Dalai Lama.
As human beings, we constantly scrutinize past decisions, and when we are done doing that, we get anxious about our futures and try to anticipate troubles and put plans in place. We can’t help ourselves. I mean, even researchers have proven that we usually make decisions by consulting past experiences.
The problem is, sometimes we just can’t stop… we spend hours living in our heads, even in moments where we should be totally immersed in a wonderful experience. Then we either regret or try to justify the time we spend in our heads, believing that our thoughts will somehow eliminate all the uncertainty and risk in our daily decisions. We cling to that false sense of control…
Ahh, the joys of the human brain….
BUT…IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT?
Of course, physically, we can only truly exist in the present… in the now. It’s our mind that usually betrays us with thoughts of our past and future.
Thus, the key is to spend less time glooming over our past or stressing over our future and more time experiencing what is going on around us.
SO…
HOW DO WE LIVE IN THE PRESENT?
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I’ve been trying to figure that out myself, and while some days life seems like a constant battle between living in the moment and trying to make a better future for myself…here’s what’s been helping me.
1. REMEMBERING THAT DISCIPLINE IS IMPORTANT BUT BREAKS ARE NECESSARY
The world will have you believe that you constantly need to be working towards something. Write down your goals, write down the steps you need to take to accomplish them, and work on them incessantly. And, if you’re not doing these things, then you are failing at life… pffft… While it is good practice to not limit your productivity to the days when you feel like doing something, it’s important to relax, unwind, and spend some time enjoying the day rather than constantly planning and working towards the next thing.
Your body will thank you, your mind will thank you…and it’s proven that rest and relaxation improves your productivity and focus. At the end of the day it all comes down to balance.
Don’t forget, the point of living in the moment is not to abandon the life we want but to also appreciate and enjoy the life we currently have.
2. PRACTICING GRATITUDE. AS REGGAE ARTIST KOFFEE SAID “GRATITUDE IS A MUST
Gratitude breeds contentment.
So, start writing down the things that you are grateful for each day. The little things really do matter. Most days I’m just grateful to be alive, to have sunny days, good food and peace of mind.
Listen, when you force yourself to make that list, you are obligated to focus on what is going well for you right now. You are forced to notice your surroundings. You are forced to pay attention to the little things and don’t have to torture yourself with thoughts about tomorrow.
Personally, it took a lot of reflection for me to realize I have everything I need to survive in this moment. God has literally provided me with everything I needed. Anything else is me wanting more. And while that is okay, I should not make it take away from what’s happening now.
Remember, “Being thankful is not always experienced as a natural state of existence, we must work at it, akin to a type of strength training for the heart.” – Larissa Gomez
3. SPENDING TIME WITH PEOPLE THAT DON’T DISRUPT THE PEACE
By the peace, I mean my peace… your peace…
4. DOING MORE OF THE THINGS YOU LOVE
Being around people who contribute to your happiness is good for your mental well-being. Your circle will either enrich your life or drain it. So choose your friends and family members wisely. Yes, I said family members. Because while we can’t choose who our family is, we can choose how much time we spend with them and how much information we share about our lives with them.
Being mindful about who we surround ourselves with and doing things we love with people we genuinely enjoy being around is a great way to combat stress and get caught up in the moment.
This goes with spending time with the right people. Don’t forget to nurture a relationship with yourself. If you can dedicate your time to your job, your family, etc., you can make time to do things that make you smile, things that bring you peace.
5. COMPARING LESS ENJOYING MORE
Listen, this is a hard one. It’s easy to look at what someone else is doing and feel like you are not doing enough or even wonder why you have not accomplished what they have yet. But the quickest way to kill your joy and waste your time is by comparing yourself to others. You’ll usually end up overthinking for hours or even worse, chasing something that you believe you lack for the simple fact that someone your age, a friend or even family member, has it. The saddest part is that we usually compare our worst to what seems to be their “best”.
So instead, we need to constantly remind ourselves that life is not a competition. This will require discipline. Celebrate your wins: small ones and big ones. Understand that where you are today isn’t where you were a couple years ago and If you choose it isn’t where you’ll be later on. According to Heraclitus, change is the only constant. So don’t forget how you’ve changed, how you’ve grown, how you’ve learnt things… and how you will continue to do so.
That’s why self examination is important. When we understand who we are and who we are becoming it seems trivial to compare ourselves to someone else who is on a completely different Journey from our own.
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IN ALL THINGS FIND BALANCE
FINDING BALANCE WITH THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE: A difficult but worthwhile endeavor.
Living in the moment is difficult. Where would we be if we didn’t think about our future–make plans, set goals, work towards what we want to become, what we want to do, or even look back at our past successes and mistakes and learn from them?
I can’t imagine the response being something positive. It’s healthy to reflect. The goal, however, is to not spend so much time looking back or looking forward that we miss out on the things happening now…Still wondering how???
Start slow…….
When you look back, try to do so intentionally. Make sure you are focusing on the past for a good reason (to reflect on a good experience, figure out where you went wrong and how you can make changes…)
Think of what you want for your future, write down what it takes to get where you want to be in life, and make an effort to work on them each day without obsessing over what is to come.
Focus on the actions more than the result you are expecting to have…If you do the work, the results will eventually come. So there is no need to spend so much time worrying about what you want or what you currently don’t have. Instead, trust your list and the steps you are taking.
Develop the habit of stopping yourself from obsessing and overthinking about the past and future. It is not easy, but habits are learnt. Find things that will help you stop these thoughts in their tracks. It could be listening to music, going for a walk, exercising, meditating, etc.
Don’t wait for the conditions to be perfect for you to start doing things that you love!
What steps are you taking daily to improve the quality of your thoughts?
👏👏👏👏👏👏 beautifully written 😩😩
Seriously I needed this read. It’s like you have a front seat view to my life. These tips are what’s going to help me with my present situation. Beautifully written. Great inspiration and advice
Well done. Being an overthinker myself, this made me reflect on what steps I need to take to live in the now. Thanks for sharing.